Crochet As A distraction

Published May 25, 2014 by Harri

Trigger warnings for Self Harm, blood, mental health issues, please practise self care when reading this post.

Ok, so since I have been hiding from practically everyone I can (bar a few people), I have gotten into crocheting as a way of hopefully helping me from picking my face off, or any other part of my body that’s covered in skin. It would seem, that if I am crocheting a blanket or slippers for someone, I am less inclined to pick as I don’t want to get blood on the wool. I mean, have you ever tried to wash blood out of wool, it’s a nightmare.
Anyway, so I have been making blankets, booties, hats and stuff for people to keep myself busy and focused. It has helped for the most part, but because I am not picking when I am nervous, I am finding that my urges to cut are becoming stronger.

I have been cutting my breasts (it’s easier, no arteries to nick and easily hidden) as a way of gaining control. Hubby isn’t impressed but he understands my need. “You are like a pressure cooker and you are letting off steam the only way you know how.” Which to be fair is pretty bang on.

So far, I have crocheted, two baby blankets, a pair of booties, a pair of slippers and a shower puff. I have more work lined up (I am not charging, just asking people to buy the wool and I will make it for them.) As long as they understand that I am by no means perfect at it, that I am still learning myself and I am prone to errors. They are doing me a favour, I am also pretty sure, my face and breasts thank them for keeping my hands busy.

So, I have been on the new meds for a while now, I seem to have levelled out, although I am not sure. Feeling empty again. Weird. BUT, I am having more good days than bad, if you can call them good days. I suppose you can because I am doing stuff instead of wanting to sleep all day and night. Dishes have been done, laundry has been cleaned, I have done stuff.  It’s more than I’d normally do.

So, I decided to create a new blog, one that is more conducive with what I am now, rather than what I was 3 years ago. Expect swearing, expect nasty rants, expect crocheting posts. This is me.

RBF x

Advertisements

Let me know what you think.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

A Positive Death UK

Death Pos Community in the UK

Chelle's Crafty Crochet

Crochet isn't an oldies thing! It's an any age thing!

Capital Nerd

Connecting ideas and people – How books can change our lives

Sloth Speed Recovery

A Mental Health Recovery Site

British Army Blog

Soldiers and Officers of the British Army in their own words

chronicleofellen

life, the universe and crafty goodness

createdbymeggan

Writings - Crafts -Photography - Family Tree and more...

RestinBitchFace

Spoons, Crocheting, Books, Life and Weirdness

The Craft Cwtch

Quality yarn from around the world

Sophie Eliza

lets talk

Rainbow Junkie

My crafty creations corner

Betty's Banter

Crochet, Chemistry and the little people in my life

Pride's Purge

an irreverent look at UK politics

One Page At A Time

There's no use in over thinking or trying to read ahead so I'm attempting to take things one page at a time. Looking at things through a body positive, crafty, cake-eating, feminist lens.

It's all in a Nutshell

A nutty crochet blog for nutty people

Anonymously Autistic

#ActuallyAutistic - An Aspie obsessed with writing. This site is intend to inspire through sharing stories & experiences. The opinions of the writers are their own. I am just an Autistic woman - NOT a medical professional.

%d bloggers like this: