Shopping and the People Panic

Published June 9, 2014 by Harri

So this weekend, I geared myself up to go shopping at the place we usually go to but then Husband changed his mind and decided we’d go to the one closer to home as we didn’t need much. That I understand. Having to go into the town centre and deal with the parking issues and the people issues…. Well, I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Did I mention that I fucking hate it.

We eventually get a parking space after one couple decide to be complete muppets. We get out and do our shopping as normal. I think I am doing ok then when we reach the till, my hands are shaking, I am hot and feel sick. This isn’t good.

People are staring, it’s getting worse and I am now sure I am going to spew everywhere. I didn’t though. I walked away to find my daughter who had decided she wanted to run off, and sat with her trying to explain why Daddy wouldn’t by her the chocolate thing she wanted. So on the way back to the car, there are people shouting and screaming over car parking spaces in this tiny car park. Instead of taking the first available space, this woman waited for a parent and child space )which she is well within her right to do so. This caused problems for the people behind, the people trying to get out etc. I was slowly starting to feel faint, my legs wouldn’t function and I was beginning to wonder if I was going to faint, and not just with the heat.

 

I was out of the house, I had actually spent time with people and I was venturing amongst the crowds to look at things alone. I was doing it. So why then was I feeling so damn sick? The arguing? Possibly, I haven’t a clue. All I know is, I went out, went shopping in one of the busiest supermarkets in my town and I didn’t lose my shit entirely. I did end up eating a full bar of rum and raisin chocolate, but that was because I couldn’t cut.

I did it though. Even though people suck. They do really suck.

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5 comments on “Shopping and the People Panic

  • Hey, it’s progress, right?
    I’ve had a panic attack before because my phone was in my purse (on the floor next to me) and I was worried I’d miss a phone call. It was literally two feet away from me, I could have literally reached over to pick it up, but instead I sat on my bed for an hour or two, frozen in panic. Sometimes triggers are fucking stupid and make no sense, and I understand the shame and frustration of having panic attacks for no reason, even when things are going well (I had one this weekend when going to hang out with some really close friends). I’m happy for you for making it out of the house and going into a stressful place- it’s a HUGE accomplishment even though it might not seem like much and even though you panicked in the midst of it. You fucking did it and that’s all that matters!! Sending hugs.

    • Thank you sweetheart.
      Panic Attacks are horrible, absolutely horrible. Especially when they are triggered by something you can rationalise but can’t stop. x Cwtches if wanted. x

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