I made an ass of myself. Nothing new I know. So, after spending the morning feeling sick with nerves and butterflies in my damn stomach, my sister and I (she came for moral support) went to the gym and spoke to the girls on the desk. Asked them a few questions, got chatting, it didn’t help my damn nerves. So we go upstairs to the gym suite and walk into the gym. I am the biggest one in there. Easily. The gym dude came to speak to us and then went to find the bloke I was meant to be seeing.
Then we find out that I was meant to be there at 1030, not 1130. I am an hour late… I was mortified. I hate being late. For anything. I really do. It’s a massive bugbear of mine. So anyway, we are standing there and I am gutted. There is still a chance that I have blown it. I am hoping to fuck I haven’t spoilt my chances of getting on the scheme. I am currently awaiting to find out whether I am actually able to go back to it. I have been told to come back on Tuesday at 1030am, but will be there at 1015am.
Anyway, after apologising profusely to my sister for dragging her out with me, I didn’t want to waste the opportunity we had. I suggested that we go for a walk around the local rugby/football pitches as a way to exercise and not waste the day.
First off, we aimed for 20 minutes of brisk walking, when we hit 20 minutes, I aimed for 2 laps, when I had done 2 laps, I pushed for 3 laps. I did it. I walked 1.64 miles, in 36 minutes and 37 seconds. It’s the furthest I have walked in a long long time.
My mental health has robbed me of my fitness, my healthy weight and my life. I holed up in the house sleeping and comfort eating my way to a ridiculous weight.
This path that I am on now, is going to be a bloody long hard road and I know it is. I have a lot to lose, but I know I can and will do it.
So yeah, thought I would let you know that I am a complete prat.