[TMI WARNING!!! I will be talking about periods (menstruation) and various other bodily bits.]
I haven’t had a proper period in over year. I have had a few days of what I can only describe as heavy spotting and that would be it. Oh the pain and crap (PMS and general evilness) would be there but not much period. Putting on weight seemed to put a complete stop to them, it always has if I am honest. The heavier I am the lighter the periods get or they become non-existent. Having the Mirena Coil in means my periods weren’t particularly heavy anyway. It’s one of the reasons why I had it in the first place.
My monthlies were so heavy, I was apparently at a higher risk of developing Uterine Cancer. I have been told by a Gynae that having PCOS can increase the risk of Cervical, Ovarian, Uterine and Breast cancer (I don’t know how true this is, or if there have been any studies done to prove this.) Because of the increased risks and the ridiculously heavy bleeding I was experiencing, the Gynae thought it would be safer to have the Mirena. I wanted a coil because there is no way in hell I want to get pregnant again, the authorities refuse to give me a hysterectomy (even though I have been begging for one since I was 21), they believe I am too young and may want to put myself permanently in a wheelchair for another baby. (Not happening!). The other reason it was recommended to me is that because it is Progesterone based, it would help in levelling out the phenomenally high Oestrogen levels I have in my body.
Imagine my Oestrogen levels are as high as Big Ben and my Progesterone levels are a ground floor one bedroom flat. That’s the type of difference there is between the two. With the Mirena in, my Progesterone levels go up to a 3 storey town house, still no where near my ridiculously high Oestrogen levels but a little closer to bridging the gap.
Weight-loss is said to aid the levels of Oestrogen produced, but we will see. It didn’t seem to make that big a difference last time I lost a shit-load.
Anyway, back to my period! The acne has been on my face for about a week, nearly 2. I was getting the usual cramp pains and cravings for chocolate (why is that?!) and my attitude had changed in many ways. I was anxious, snarly, angry and just generally being a bitch to those around me. I didn’t click onto the fact that the exercise I have been doing for the last 3 weeks, could have kick started my cycle. Well it has.
Nothing heavy, but enough for my body to work out what it’s meant to be doing again. What has shocked me more is the fact I have turned into an evil bitch again. PMS has been the bane of my life since I started having periods at 14 (ish, I can’t remember). There was such a twist in my behaviour and character that people were willing to write me off as being an over-emotional crazy girl. Screaming fits and weeping sessions were a regular. Then they began morphing into anger and rage, as no-one seemed to want to help me. Doctors told me it was a growth thing and I would grow out of it. No one could understand that once a month I just felt like smashing the face in of the nearest person who pissed me off.
These days, the rage I feel is incredible. If Hubby is breathing too loud, I feel the urge to smother him. If the dog climbs up on my lap for the 12th fuss of the day, I freak out. Kiddo, bless her, sometimes gets the barrel too. Love her. I had to talk to her about hormones (only a brief chat, nothing too in-depth) and apologised for being snappy to her. It’s not her fault, she knows this, but it doesn’t help with the guilt.
So I am currently sat here, writing this, Robocop 2 is on in the background and I seem to be a bubbling, festering pool of anger. Not directed at anyone in particular, but just free to be splashed on anyone who upsets me. I hate feeling like this, it’s unsettling. The only time the rage is useful is when I am working out, which until recently hadn’t happened. I can’t get to the gym until Tuesday, so have to wait. I am walking to work on Monday (mainly because I don’t have a choice) but to try and keep my exercise up. I am also hoping it will help calm me down before I step into that place.
I am Progesterone sensitive too apparently, I react adversely (all ragey and snarly, as well as emotionally) to it naturally occurring in my system and the synthetic stuff too. Which makes it all fun.
I just thought I would share this little tale with you. PCOS stories are FUN!