This is a post from my old blog and thought it was fitting for here. I have PCOS, I grow body hair and I am a cis-woman. I don’t want to be ashamed for not conforming to societal resraints with regards to beauty.
Please excuse the unkempt nature of the pictures, I have been playing a hobbit. Hiding in the house because of anxiety, so I haven’t shaved all week. This has given me the perfect opportunity to do this again. That and the fact that Harnaam Kaur has been all over the media for being a Sikh woman with PCOS who is growing her beard out. Lots of people (Even though we all know we should NEVER read the comments!) have given their support, but we all know social restraints mean that we get bullied for having 1 black hair on our chin, let alone a neck full. So, I was inspired to post another picture or three. My hair isn’t as dark as it used to be, I can only assume this is because of the laser treatment. I am currently on my second round of treatment. (I have been incredibly fortunate with funding. Even though I was refused several times and had to resort to begging.) Being hairy is hard work, I have to shave so when I do go out in public, my daughter won’t be ridiculed by her friends. Which she has been in the past.
This first picture is of my face (yes, those are scars, my big nose and I got fat again.) and my neck. You can see the hair on my chin and creeping further down my neck.
A close up of the chin
The boobie shot. The chest hair and the shoulder yeti look is in this season.
That long curly hair to the left of my rings, that’s one off my head. The smaller ones are the ones growing in pretty patterns over my shoulders, chest, boobs (I will spare you that image), stomach (see boobs), and everywhere else.
So, how do I deal with the hairy mess, that is me?
I shave and I pluck. They are the simplest answers. The laser doesn’t stop the hair growth, well it hasn’t for me. It lessens how thick my hair is.
How do I shave?
You think you know how to shave, how do you shave? Does it cause in-growing hairs? Do you get shavers rash? If so, there is something seriously flawed with your skin. You have to remember the skin on the chin, neck chest and breasts (and armpits) on a lot of women is the most sensitive. It is also the thinnest. There isn’t much there. This is what I do…
- I make sure I am in a hot shower (I am fortunate enough to have a mirror in my shower).
- Exfoliate my face, neck, chest and breasts with Simple Moisturise face wash on an exfoliating glove.
- Rinse my face off.
- Grab the Nivea For Men Sensitive Shave Gel. You never need much for that. Slap it on the bits you want to shave..
- Get my razor. Now the razor you use is the most important bit of equipment. You NEED a decent razor, seriously. You do, do not use a women’s razor on your face. I use a Gillette Mach 3.
- Wet the blades, then shave. How you shave is up to you. There will be several different ways you can shave. I personally shave in every direction to make sure it’s smooth.
- Then I moisturise the crap out of my face with Simple Nourishing Moisturiser.
That’s it. The scars I have on my face are rarely from cutting myself (although it has happened when I am rushing) but from picking my acne.
Please don’t dry shave your skin, that’s the worst thing you can do. Look after it.
Although, if my face is feeling particularly tender, I don’t use a razor. I will use my Husband’s electric shaver. It’s a Phillip’s Wet and Dry rechargeable shaver but it can irritate your skin. I would say this is ideal for people with light hair or who don’t care for a bit of stubble.
For my chest, breasts and other bits. I use a Wilkinson Lady Shave and Dove soap or cheap conditioner. When I am on a “Fuck it, I am growing it out” phase and then decide to deforest myself, I have an electric shaver (Can’t remember what it is, but I plug it in, charge it, use it, charge runs out and then end up just leaving the lead plugged in as I am using it.)
I go through phases where I care and I am shaving my face every 2 days. Then when I am depressed, I don’t shave for as long ass possible. It also adds to the anxiety and depression. Yet jumping in the shower, shaving my face seems like I am trying to climb Mount Everest.
So yeah, this is how I deal with my hair. I am not ashamed of my hairy arms. They are my arms. If you don’t like looking at them, don’t look. I hide my legs in trousers. No-one sees my bush other than Hubby, so it doesn’t matter if it looks like a bad 80’s porno (NOT that I have EVER seen one of them, EVER!). My chest, neck and face though, well those are different. I am not mentally strong enough at the moment to deal with the comments, the stares and the fact that my daughter would get bullied for my choices. That’s not what I want.
I want to say, be proud of who you are, it shouldn’t matter what we look like. But we do care. We do want to conform and we end up wanting to look like the women in the magazines. So instead I will say this…
Look after your skin. Make sure you have a proper routine. Use the right products. (Don’t be embarrassed buying them, say they are for your boyfriend/father/brother…). Moisturise the crap out of anything you use a razor on.
Take care of yourself.
That’s me done. xxx